Back in March, a literary agent contacted me out of the blue and showed interest in my work. I sent her a small section of my novel-in-progress and she requested to read the whole thing when I was done, except, would I consider changing the POV from third to first person? I responded with a more dignified version of HELL YEAH because this was a big deal, but now… I don’t know.
At first it was just a challenge, and I figured the novel was early enough in the process that a change to its foundation wouldn’t be that bad. But the more I’ve attempted to change the POV, the more I’ve grown to dislike the story altogether. Yesterday I finally had to ask myself: Do I really have to change it? Why am I changing it? What’s so wrong with a YA story told in third person? And that brought up all manner of conversations (in my head) about the craft vs. the business, and I got incredibly sad.
In theory, I’ve always known that creativity and capitalism were at odds, but it never hit me as hard as it did when I realized that I was forcing myself to write a meh story because an agent wants it changed, and that agent has the power to get my manuscript in front of publishers who can launch my mainstream writing career. It’s a sad, awful truth, compromising on your art because you need to get paid for it. But I work in marketing; I know how this beast works. I know that I’m at a crossroads, and things could be great or an even harder battle with either choice I make.
So if you were inclined to ask me how the novel is going, here’s the short(ish) answer: I’m struggling with just how much compromising I want to do straight out of the box. I’m trying to decide which mistake I can live with. I want to tell the story in the best way possible but I also want to sell the book. But in the meantime, whenever I sit down to write this revised POV, resentment gathers at my throat and paralyzes me.
How’s your novel going?
xoxo,
Raquel Ivelisse