In January, I wrote out some pretty lofty goals for how I wanted my year to go. I didn’t know it was “lofty” at the time, but now I see that I wanted too much. OR perhaps I could have done a lot of these list items if I’d watched less reruns of GREY’S ANATOMY and hunkered down more. Either way, here’s what I wanted to do, and the reaction GIFs that tell you where I am today:
I will hand in my thesis. I will finish my MFA. That damn paper feels like it will ALWAYS be a monkey on my back.
I will have a finished draft to St. Nicholas Girls. I will begin a year-long search for an agent. Remember when I had a mid-May deadline for the manuscript?
I will publish How to Grieve, the book I wrote after my dad died. In theory there’s still time to do this, but in theory I could also sprout wings and fly.
I will publish Enfermos, a collection of my short stories. I think maybe when I wrote this list I thought cloning would be a thing by now.
I will have at least 10 people at each reading, performers not included. It wasn’t free, but thanks to my increased social media presence I’ve had butts-in-seats (plus overflow!) at all of my readings this year. YASSSSS!
I will read for at least 10 new audiences. I haven’t been keeping track exactly, but I think I’ll make this number, and then some, by December.
I will attend at least four writing residencies. This one I honestly tried to do, but have you seen how much residencies cost? THE RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH!
I will double my newsletter readership. If by “doubling” I meant add 10 people, then I’m good and done!
I will have a robust Square store with new merchandise. Who has time to build merch when books ain’t even written yet???
Listen. I know these were the dreams of a hopeful Jaded NYer back when the year was fresh and Obama was still president, and that I have six months to hustle my ass off and get this all squared away, but let me have my pessimistic fun, okay? Reading this list, now, in June, is daunting. At least half of these will have to fall back if I’m going to retain my sanity. For sure.
The lesson? Take it easy on yourselves, loves. The world is harsh enough and already has plans to dump a ton of crazy on your lap; no need to add to it by adding in unrealistic expectations.
Now… who wants to come over here and write this thesis paper for me? I’ll be your best friend…
xoxo,
Raquel Ivelisse