Beyonce released a new album over the weekend, you’re convinced, for two reasons: to distract you from the pain of losing a beloved musical icon (Prince), and to keep you from dying when you learn your dad has died.
You listen to her new album—about love and heartbreak and forgiveness and Black Girl Magic—because it’s the anti-grief anthem. It transports you instead to failed romances, and that’s a safer place to visit. Anger is a safer emotion right now. Remembering being dumped, being cheated on, being used, is a better use of your brain.
Otherwise, you’d give way to sadness, and that’s dangerous. Sadness will try and convince you to jump in front of a train. To drink more than what’s necessary to numb the pain. To tear your flesh in that one sweet spot that you know will make everything stop.
For the time being, anger is your friend. Hold its hand. Let it lead you home. Cozy up next to it on the subway. Let anger scare sadness away until your mind can catch up with reality.
And thank Beyonce for the lemon-flavored distraction the first chance you get.
-excerpt from How to Grieve: A Guide for Getting Through What You Thought You’d Never Get Through, release date TBA
xoxo,
Raquel Ivelisse