A Soundtrack for “Insomnia”

I have a story that I’m working on that I’m totally in love with. Shhh, don’t tell the others, but this story is one I can’t wait to finish because the main characters–Carmen and Nicholas–belong together but just can’t make it work, and I LOVE impossible love stories! I mean, I’m still hoping that in the Buffy comic books/graphic novels that came out after the show ended, she and Spike find a way to be together. I KNOW HE DIED. But somehow, they need to end up together. I KNOW HE TRIED TO RAPE HER. They belong together though.

My story, “Fighting Insomnia: A Relationship in Snippets,” is about the coming together and unraveling of a couple who seem like a good idea on paper, but the explosions are just too much when they get together. She has trust issues, he has commitment issues. They say mean things and then have passionate sexy times and then break up. But somehow, they come together again because DAMMIT, I’m rooting for them; I’m their biggest freakin’ cheerleader.

Well, I’ve been actively working on it again, and as I mentioned in a previous post, I always write with a soundtrack. It helps me channel the characters and set the mood. And for this post I thought it would be interesting to give you a peek at the story AND the soundtrack. FUN, right?

So for your reading and listening pleasure, here’s Carmen and Nicholas, their impossible romance, and the soundtrack that brings it all to life:

Although we give each other genuine smiles, the hug is stiff and awkward. The memory of the last time we saw each other–me throwing his diamond in his face, him storming out–was evidently still fresh in both our minds. I steal a quick glance at his hand, making sure he sees mine holds no other ring yet, either.

The “what ifs” come racing back after so many years apart but I don’t let on. I do, however, fill up on his familiar scent. How can he still smell like that after all these years?

“What are you doing these days? Are you still in Brooklyn?” he asks, and his use of the word “still” makes me feel stagnant.

“I jut moved back a few years ago,” I say a little too defensively. I want to say, I did move on, you know! I hardly think of you ever! But clench my jaw instead. “I finally opened my event planning company. You?”

“I’m actually up in Soundview now; found a place close to work. I’m still teaching up on the Hill.” He uses “still” again, I notice, but this time he makes it sound permanent and consistent and responsible. Typical of him.

I don’t miss my chance to chide him, though. “Just teaching? Not department head? Or dean?”

He doesn’t miss a beat, either. “I’m head coach on the tennis team. It doesn’t leave too much time for anything other than a few classes a day. We’ve been city champs since I’ve been there, you know.” Somehow his eyes tell me that he knows I still get the school’s newsletter, and that I follow the success of the tennis team. Fuck. Checkmate.

“Yes, I do know.” Just like that, just seconds after I had held his cologne in my nose hairs for later use, he reminds me why we weren’t together anymore. Why I gave him back his ring. “So I didn’t know you were a fan of reggae music. What brings you back to the ‘hood?”

“My girlfriend is Jamaican; she’s been waiting for this concert all summer.”

Girlfriend? Girlfriend. He uses the G word in my face and doesn’t even flinch. I hope he doesn’t notice my stifled grimace, but I’m sure he remembers all of my mannerisms, especially how I’d clench my jaw when stuck for words to say. There really isn’t a way to come back from that so I don’t even attempt it.

Crazy, right? Damn I hope these two can make it work…

What did you think of the playlist? I know I didn’t give you a lot of the story, but did it set the mood a little? Let me know in the comments!

xoxo,
Raquel Ivelisse